I am thanking God in particular fashion for my Mom and Dad, who celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary today, September 16th, 2009.
Mom and Dad were married at the Homestead United Methodist Church on a warm afternoon in 1949. Wow. That sounds so strange to say. Nineteen forty-nine.
Mom and Dad have taught me much in and through their marriage.
They have taught me that laughter and playfulness are nothing short of sacramental in the marital covenant. In fact, even as I type these words, I am chuckling over the very specific memories I have of laughing heartily, even uncontrollably, with Mom and Dad over life’s various absurdities. Their beautiful silliness and vibrant playfulness have always been contagious.
They have taught me that there really doesn’t have to be a “head of the house.” Long before I knew how to name what I was seeing in their marriage, Mom and Dad modeled for me a matrimony of covenantal partnership rather than spousal hierarchy. When decisions are to be made, Mom and Dad make them together, prayerfully, relationally, and with mutual respect. I have never had the sense that either Mom or Dad is seeking the upper hand in their relationship.
They have taught me about the urgency of consistency in our Christian witness. Or, to put it in the way that I normally prefer, Mom and Dad have never allowed there to be any inconsistency between who they are at church and who they are at the dinner table, and the living room, and the grocery store. The Lordship of Jesus holds authority, not only over their church involvement, but over every segment of their living.
They have taught me that being a Steeler fan brings a dimension of passion to one’s living that is as enlivening as it is fun.
They have taught me that good parenting means loving one’s kids just for showing up.
They have taught me that a family demands investment, sacrifice, and attentive time. I confess that, over the years, I took for granted the fact that Mom and Dad rarely missed one of my football games or wrestling matches or concerts. I’m not taking that for granted any more.
They have taught me that it is very illegal to set off firecrackers on the sand of Myrtle Beach. (Let’s just say that we all learned this the hard way!)
They have taught me that prayer is not simply an isolated activity, but a way of life. I am grateful for all the memories I have of seeing Mom and Dad in prayer. I’m even more grateful for the times that we’ve experienced such prayer together.
They have taught me that the joy of singing together as a family is not reserved for Shirley Partridge and her children.
They have taught me what it looks like to incarnate the biblical principle of being subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. In fact, the only competition that Mom and Dad have consistently maintained with one another over the years is the competition of outdoing one another in servanthood.
They have taught me what the vow “in sickness and in health” really means. These days, when I see the way in which Mom cares for Dad in his Alzheimer’s journey, and when I see the way my Dad looks lovingly at my Mom (through eyes that are not always able to recognize the rest of us), I understand better than ever that the love God equipped them to share transcends the frailty and brokenness of the human condition.
They have taught me that tithing and growth beyond tithing is normative in discipleship. When I was a child, Mom allowed me to put the family’s check into the offering plate on Sunday morning. I remember thinking at one point, “Sheesh. Do you realize how many G.I. Joe’s and comic books this money could buy?!” Through the consistency and extravagance of their generosity, Mom and Dad helped me to understand at least two things: That the Church of Jesus Christ deserves our very best gifts; and that the discipline of giving is always somewhere very close to the heart of our discipleship.
They have taught me that whether or not I “feel” like going to church is a purely secondary consideration. That was made clear to me early on when I heard these words from my parents: “I don’t remember asking you if you FELT like going to church!” I got the point. I still do.
Perhaps most of all, Mom and Dad have taught me what it means to build a marriage that is replete with integrity, devotion, romance, and abundant joy.
If you have read this post, thank you for allowing me to celebrate my parents’ marriage on the occasion of their 60th wedding anniversary. I am grateful to God for the beautiful poetry that my parents’ lives have made in an often prose-filled world.