In the forum section of my church’s website, a man recently posted this question and experience. I share it here with his permission:
Did I sin? My family and I had the pleasure of going on a short vacation to a water park in Ohio this past weekend. We had stopped at a rest area to stretch our legs and grab a bite to eat. When we got out of the car a colored woman came up to me in tears and said she was traveling to see her sick mother. She told me that she had lost her purse and needed some money for gas to get there. In her car were 2 children and another adult. I had been saving money for this vacation for a long time, and I knew that I could spare a few dollars. But I told her that I was sorry and that I did not have any money for her.
I went into the restroom and thought to myself, ‘why didn’t I give that woman any money?’ Was it that I thought that she was just a moocher looking for some extra cash? Or was it because she was colored? If a white woman asked me the same question, I truly believe i would have reacted the same way, but why do I question myself?
I did end up giving the woman ten dollars and told her, ‘God Bless. I hope this helps.’ I hope I did the right thing.
This was my response to the man’s inquiry:
Hi ________
Tough issues here. Thanks for your honesty.
Racism is one of the most pervasive sins with which we deal on a regular basis. Nobody comes out of the womb thinking that the color of one’s skin entitles them to a special place in the social network. But, from a young age, we are taught to be racist by our institutions, our families, and our friends.
I think that it is incumbent upon all of us to confess and repent of our racist proclivities. Even if we are not vocal in our racism, we are nevertheless part of a culture that continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes and presuppositions. The fact that we have black friends and co-workers doesn’t necessarily mean that we have jettisoned racism from our consciousness. It might simply mean that our racism has gone more deeply into the hidden chambers of our soul.
To be honest, most white people in the church think very simplistically and shallowly about the issue of racism. Resentful white people will often say things like, “Hey, racism isn’t an issue any more.”
Or, “Black people should just get over it and move on. They should stop being so angry about it.”
Or, “Black people are even more racist than I am. They’re the ones to whom you should be talking.”
But, as you have come to understand, the issue of racism within the white community is not as simple as those expressions might imply. There are issues of deep racial division still very much present in the church and in our hearts. We have no choice but to identify those issues, address them, and repent of the sin of racism wherever we find it. Believe me, there is plenty of work to do in that regard at Central Highlands Church.
The fact that you identified race as a factor in your Ohio experience is probably a pretty good indication that it was indeed an issue. Part of what the Holy Spirit does for Christ-followers is to make us sensitive to our deeper motives and to convict us when something in our life is out of alignment with the will of God. It sounds like that might be what happened to you in that Ohio rest area.
Now, as to the question of whether or not giving money to a begging person is wise (regardless of her skin color), I believe that to be an issue best left to each heart in each particular circumstance. It sounds to me like you followed your heart in the direction of generosity, and I would never argue against that.
I think that this whole experience will make you into a more reflective and thoughtful disciple of Jesus. God will use this experience to develop you into the kind of person that makes Central Highlands Church into the kind of church that rejects all forms of racism and bears witness to the Kingdom envisioned in Galatians 3:28—a Kingdom in which there is no longer Jew nor Greek, no longer slave nor free, no longer male nor female because of our oneness in Christ Jesus.
Here’s something kind of funny, brother: When I hear someone speak of a “colored” person, I always ask the speaker, “What color was he?” The person then normally says, “Huh?” To which I say, “Well, you said that he was ‘colored.’ But aren’t we all ‘colored?!’ I just wondered what particular color he was.”
When the person then says, “Well, he was black,” it helps them to recognize the personhood of the individual they are describing, thereby moving them beyond the generic “colored” adjective and into a more specific and personal description.
It’s one of my little ways of guarding against the racism that sometimes even creeps into the language that we use. Try that whenever you hear someone at Central Highlands use the word “colored.”
Thanks again for your honesty and for sharing a portion of your discipleship with us.
Thoughtful stuff. It’s good that your friend is even AWARE of potential issues; that speaks volumes (positively) about his integrity and faith journey.
And your response was great. I tend to be too “preachy” in those moments. Well done.
Wow…I was wondering how long it would take for someone to post a comment What a potentially sticky topic. I too, had one of those waking-up moments. I was just getting out of my car at the East End Food Coop and normally never lock the car, In the distance, I saw three young boys of “color” strolling toward me and without evening knowing I was doing it, turned back and locked up. I haven’t had such a convicting shopping trip since. I swear the Holy Spirit was visibly walking next to me in the store opening up my eyes to my racism. I felt so bad about it I confessed it to my covenant group the next time we met. One of the older women in the group was rather quiet and then said she had been a wedding coordinator at her church for years but the previous saturday was the first time she left her purse at home because the bride and groom were black. We both wept for our hidden and slippery sinfulness and laughed at the audacity that until then we had considered ourselves non-racist. We asked God for forgiveness and were changed women. God is good and I’m glad he is persistently gentle.
Well, Racism, what a topic. It’s a tough one no matter the color of your skin. I really appreciated your response to this topic. I have learned a lot about myself this past year when we moved our kids to a school that has a predominantly black student body. I was nervous about the move. “What kind of influence are my kids going to be subjected too?” “Are they going to thrive?” I experienced a lot of unnecessary trepidation because of my learned responses. I am soooooo glad that we allowed the Lord guided us on this decision. Why? Because I learned to follow Christ with a childlike perspective. We watched our kids blossom and grow in ways that would never have happened in their previous school. Not because they were in a new school with black kids, but because of the educational opportunities that were made possible by the move. I watched them interact and build relationships with other kids, never once seeing the color of their skin. I praise Him for this. I challenge everyone to stop and really truly think for yourself. Look beyond the prejudices handed down to you. Think and pray for a softening of your heart. Allow yourself to confess the prejudice and racism you carry with you. It is a truly freeing experience. One that will take a lifetime to overcome, but each step makes the next all the more rewarding. May God Bless You in this journey.