I am thanking God in particular fashion for my Mom and Dad, who celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary today, September 16th, 2009.
Mom and Dad were married at the Homestead United Methodist Church on a warm afternoon in 1949. Wow. That sounds so strange to say. Nineteen forty-nine.
Mom and Dad have taught me much in and through their marriage.
They have taught me that laughter and playfulness are nothing short of sacramental in the marital covenant. In fact, even as I type these words, I am chuckling over the very specific memories I have of laughing heartily, even uncontrollably, with Mom and Dad over life’s various absurdities. Their beautiful silliness and vibrant playfulness have always been contagious.
They have taught me that there really doesn’t have to be a “head of the house.” Long before I knew how to name what I was seeing in their marriage, Mom and Dad modeled for me a matrimony of covenantal partnership rather than spousal hierarchy. When decisions are to be made, Mom and Dad make them together, prayerfully, relationally, and with mutual respect. I have never had the sense that either Mom or Dad is seeking the upper hand in their relationship.
They have taught me about the urgency of consistency in our Christian witness. Or, to put it in the way that I normally prefer, Mom and Dad have never allowed there to be any inconsistency between who they are at church and who they are at the dinner table, and the living room, and the grocery store. The Lordship of Jesus holds authority, not only over their church involvement, but over every segment of their living.
They have taught me that being a Steeler fan brings a dimension of passion to one’s living that is as enlivening as it is fun.
They have taught me that good parenting means loving one’s kids just for showing up.
They have taught me that a family demands investment, sacrifice, and attentive time. I confess that, over the years, I took for granted the fact that Mom and Dad rarely missed one of my football games or wrestling matches or concerts. I’m not taking that for granted any more.
They have taught me that it is very illegal to set off firecrackers on the sand of Myrtle Beach. (Let’s just say that we all learned this the hard way!)
They have taught me that prayer is not simply an isolated activity, but a way of life. I am grateful for all the memories I have of seeing Mom and Dad in prayer. I’m even more grateful for the times that we’ve experienced such prayer together.
They have taught me that the joy of singing together as a family is not reserved for Shirley Partridge and her children.
They have taught me what it looks like to incarnate the biblical principle of being subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. In fact, the only competition that Mom and Dad have consistently maintained with one another over the years is the competition of outdoing one another in servanthood.
They have taught me what the vow “in sickness and in health” really means. These days, when I see the way in which Mom cares for Dad in his Alzheimer’s journey, and when I see the way my Dad looks lovingly at my Mom (through eyes that are not always able to recognize the rest of us), I understand better than ever that the love God equipped them to share transcends the frailty and brokenness of the human condition.
They have taught me that tithing and growth beyond tithing is normative in discipleship. When I was a child, Mom allowed me to put the family’s check into the offering plate on Sunday morning. I remember thinking at one point, “Sheesh. Do you realize how many G.I. Joe’s and comic books this money could buy?!” Through the consistency and extravagance of their generosity, Mom and Dad helped me to understand at least two things: That the Church of Jesus Christ deserves our very best gifts; and that the discipline of giving is always somewhere very close to the heart of our discipleship.
They have taught me that whether or not I “feel” like going to church is a purely secondary consideration. That was made clear to me early on when I heard these words from my parents: “I don’t remember asking you if you FELT like going to church!” I got the point. I still do.
Perhaps most of all, Mom and Dad have taught me what it means to build a marriage that is replete with integrity, devotion, romance, and abundant joy.
If you have read this post, thank you for allowing me to celebrate my parents’ marriage on the occasion of their 60th wedding anniversary. I am grateful to God for the beautiful poetry that my parents’ lives have made in an often prose-filled world.
Eric,
Thank you for such a great post. Though I never had the pleasure of meeting your parents, none the less I have been blessed by them as well. I have learned all the same lessons, (except for the firecrackers on Myrtle Beach) as taught to me by my parents, Tom and Ginny R. were members of your parent’s youth group many years ago. My parents were later married in that very same church in Homestead. The reach of your parent’s teachings extend beyond what you may realize!
-jeff
Eric, that was beautiful. I have met your parents on a few occasions and have seen the playfulness and fun people that you talked about. I have heard you say on numerous occasions that you want to be just like them when you grow up. I think you’re well on the road to being just that. Congratulations to your parents… 60 years is amazing, and a blessing. I only hope that Tim and I live long enough to see 60 years of marriage… just 34 more years to go!
Thanks so much for sharing!
Eric, What a beautiful tribute. Your parents have been a part of my life since I was a youth in their MYF at the Homestead church.My husband and I had lunch with them in Indiana a few years ago and it was just like the being with them as kids. I hope to visit with them when I am in Indiana in June for my 50th college reunion. (The first reply is from my son - so you can see that I speak of them often.
What a lovely tribute to your mom and dad. And what a blessing you are to them by recognizing and appreciating all they have taught you. It is quite evident in the way you speak of them what fond memories you must hold dear. Isn’t it wonderful to look back on childhood years and know they were so very happy and filled with love. I feel for many individuals I have met who can’t say the same. I too share in a blessed life by having had such wonderful examples of God’s love shining through in my mom and dad. I could see at a very young age the love between a husband and wife. In fact, I can even remember thinking as a pre-teen/teenager (and I probably adopted the phrase from too many episodes of “Happy Days”), that my parents were so “frisky”! But now as an adult, I appreciate that they were so loving toward each other. Even in the experience of losing dad, we could see an amazing love between them. I will never forget sitting at mom’s house the night dad went to be with the Lord, and my mother said to us, “seems strange that dad (John) went on a journey without me”. Cherish your memories and many blessings to you, Tara, and your parents!
Eric — As always, your unabashed love for and honor of your parents is a joy and a gift you share so beautifully! Howie and I had the privilege of meeting them; sitting close to them in worship and hearing those beautiful voices; and, seeing the pride in their faces as they listened to their son speak/sing God’s word. We continue to pray for you/Tara and for your families — because we know that sometimes the earthly journey with those we love is much shorter than we anticipated — and, the pain when they leave is not easy to endure. Ultimately, I believe it is our faith that heals us and our memories that sustain us. So, my friend, keep chalking up those memories with your folks, your friends and your bride … and, be still and know …
S.